Part One: The First 24 Hours
I made it to 41 weeks on the dot, and I knew our baby would join us any hour or day now. I was at the stage of pregnancy of wanting to savor every single minute, knowing it could be my last of having this baby growing inside of me while at the same time praying my birthing time would begin so we could finally meet our precious rainbow babe after waiting patiently for ten months. At this point, I had been pregnant (or newly postpartum) since November 2022, fifteen total months, so I was excited to finally be entering our next chapter. I also didn’t want to stress about nearing the 42-week mark and having to opt out of home birth care, even though I knew and trusted we’d get our baby to come before then. I was now passing the final pregnancy days by nourishing my body with stretching, yoga, walking, sunshine, bath time, belly massages, journaling, reading and staying distracted with coffee dates out with friends.
On this 41st week of pregnancy, on 2/15, I had plans to see a mama friend for lunch downtown and then I would go to the Oceanside boardwalk to “walk the baby out.” At lunch, I had my first loose bowel movement and I thought hmmm maybe this could be my first labor sign. This came in conjunction with the night before having nausea in the grocery store that caused me to wait outside while Ryan grabbed our Valentine’s dinner for date night at the movies. I knew very well these could certainly be signs of labor nearing, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much.
In the 90 minutes of walking the boardwalk, I had noticeably increased pelvic pressure compared to all the other walks (and there were many) that I had been doing in the weeks leading up until now. Again, I told myself not to get my hopes up just in case this was my body still preparing for true labor. This was the first time in weeks that I had walked without my belly band, and so I thought maybe that could be the reason for the change in sensation, but deep down, I knew my body was shifting. I had two more loose bowel movements during this time, and of course, I excitedly texted Rori, saying, “Things are definitely happening! I feel like I can’t leave the toilet!” It was comical and exciting!
The beach walk felt so glorious and special knowing that this could be my last pregnant beach walk, which had been a huge focal point of my pregnancy (I also made a point to say hi to our angel Cora whenever we’d visit the sea). I knew after the vigorous walk in the sunshine, that I had to get home to nourish and rest. I took an Epsom salt bath and followed it with a belly oil rub, now a favorite daily ritual. While in the bath, a local midwife, Tatiana, had texted me asking if I wanted bodywork that night. I was happy because this sounded like a lovely way to end the day and possibly even help kickstart labor by getting baby into the perfect position. After my bath, I had Ryan take some pregnancy pictures with me because I had this inkling that they would be our last with this babe in my belly. I’m so glad I did!
When Tatiana arrived at 5:30 pm, she worked on my body for over an hour, and it felt like exactly what my body needed. She stretched out tightness and released tension deep in my hips, pelvis and low back. My body was so happy! She left around 7:30 pm and Ry had veggie pasta soup ready for us to eat, which I was so happy about because I was ready to have a warm nourishing dinner and get to bed. Bedtimes these last few weeks had been between 7-8 pm and it was now 8:30 pm, so I was ready for my rest!
As soon as I lay down, I realized my now regular nighttime cramping might be more than just cramping this time. At 9 pm, I texted Rori to give her an update and let her know that I thought this might be the real deal. I also texted Ry letting him know that I thought this might be labor and that he shouldn’t stay up too late. By 10 pm, surges were consistent. I got a pulse check with the Contraction Timer app and clocked them at five minutes apart lasting for 50 seconds each. I was excited that this was real labor, but I also realized that the surges were pretty close together for the start of labor. I proceeded to do the knees-to-chest position for 30 minutes to see if this would have an impact on the pattern.
The surges continued in this same way, so I mentally knew we’d be having our baby in the coming day or days! I was a little nervous knowing that my labor started right as I went down to bed, so I hadn’t slept. We tell our clients all the time to rest while they can in early labor, so this is what was going through my head as I lay in bed allowing the surges to flow. I found it hard to rest with them being only five minutes apart, and it was a mental game of doing whatever I could to be restful even if I wasn’t completely falling asleep.
At 1:30 am I text Rori, “Hi sis - so definitely think it’s labor. I haven’t fallen back asleep, but stayed in bed and dozed a bit between. Surges stayed throughout knees to chest and have been consistent ever since. Just did a pulse check and they’re 50 seconds long now and still about 5 and a half min apart. I’m going to get in the shower soon just to see if that changes things at all. They’re like a 5-6/10 intensity scale, and I’m managing fine. I’m only feeling them in my low uterus and not back, but they’re building like waves, so it feels like true contractions to me. I’m letting Ry snooze while he can.”
I continued to stay in bed until 2 am trying the heating pad and different positions to get as comfortable as possible. I don’t quite recall being able to doze off, but there were some restful moments in there. I knew the shower would be a nice reprieve and could potentially slow surges down indicating that it was still very early labor. I decided to get in, but standing took up energy and I got hot pretty quickly, so I only stayed for about thirty minutes. Labor continued to come on in the same way even after the shower, so I figured I should get back to lying down to catch my rest while I had the chance. I was able to stay in bed and manage labor on my own comfortably, and I wanted to let Ry rest for as long as possible since I knew we could be in this for the long haul. He was able to sleep from about 10:30 pm until I woke him around 3:30 am (although he told me afterward that he didn’t fall asleep until about midnight because my labor noises kept his attention and he, too, was excited). When I woke him, I told him that labor was still here, and I would start to need his support.
At the same time, I gave Rori another update: “Showered, heating pad and did knees to chest again and surges are staying consistent. I haven’t been timing but I just counted 8 in the last 30 min, so maybe getting a little closer together. Intensity is the same of like a 6/10 (it’s hard to know really though in terms of pain tolerance because I think mine’s high) and it’s only in my low abdomen/pelvis. Not radiating into my back at all - is that weird? Idk haha. Definitely been intense enough that I have to really focus and breathe all the way through. I just had Ry get up to get me hydration and take out some mama meals. I think I’ll have you come down this morning whenever you’re rested and up.”
I “doulaed” myself during this time reading into all the known labor signs from my experience. I deep down continued to trust that this was true labor and that this was meant to be my birthing time, but a small sliver of doubt crept in as I didn’t want to get my hopes up and just have it be prodromal labor. I’ve had this happen to many mamas in my doula experience, and I was praying it wasn’t me because I now had been up most of the night and I was ready to take on the rest of my labor.
I still hadn’t fallen into a deep sleep, but I continued to stay restful in bed. I had my headphones on as I listened to a Hypno track, Maggie Rogers and “Our Rainbow” playlist. I told Ry he could go back to bed, as I tried to rest, too.
At 4:30 am I was ready for my first nourishment, and I requested avo toast from Ry. It felt like the perfect nourishment that I needed; a delicious break from the labor. This was when I decided I was ready to get out of the more restful labor positions to try to incorporate some movement. I got on the birth ball for about 30 minutes and then went to the toilet. This is when surges picked up to three minutes apart. An exciting shift!
At 5 am, I text Rori the next update: “They’re probably about a minute long every 4-5 minutes still low uterus/pelvis. Have had some diarrhea but no discharge. Coping well, and I’d say still early stages based on surge pattern...I’m most comfortable sitting on the ball, but I think I’m going to do knees to chest again in a bit. That feels restful.” Then at 5:30 am I texted, “Still 3-4 min apart lasting 1 min in knees to chest, so feels like some progress…Ry is snoozing, take your time and drive safe!" At 6 am, “Intensity is definitely increasing…Back on the toilet now. The urge to constantly poop is insane, not like pushing popping just like needing to clear everything out. No bloody show, so I know we still have some time! I don’t ever remember a mom pooping this much haha. Glad it’s all coming out now!”
It was so nice to have Rori as my sounding board during this time to reassure me that this was labor, and it would be here to stay. During this time, Kona came to check in on me; sweet boy! I moved peacefully and intuitively on my yoga mat. Ry already had the birthing space set with the twinkly lights and tub setup. It was now 7:30 am, and Rori joined us, too. I was excited to have her here as a peaceful and helpful presence, and also to give me the confidence and reassurance that I was doing all the right things to help progress labor while balancing rest.
I moved into side-lying and surges spaced out a bit. At 9 am, Ry made me a smoothie and the surges were back to five minutes apart, so I got back into the shower for the second time for relief. At this point, I was in the labor pattern of showering, nourishing, moving, repeat. This would be one of the last times I’d check in on my surge pattern myself as soon I would be moving more inward and relying solely on my intuition. While Ryan and I were in the bedroom still in a more restful and peaceful place in labor, Rori was downstairs prepping all the things for birth and early postpartum. It was so comforting knowing she was here to support me as needed and she’d be here for when things intensified.
It was such a fun and light-hearted morning with Rori and Ry by my side supporting me. Between what felt like frequent surges, we laughed and shared stories. I couldn’t even say now what we were talking about, but I know the energy felt safe, fun and positive. The laughter kept me distracted, and it passed the time so seamlessly. When surges spaced out to more than five minutes apart, I’d get more time for relief, but it felt as if this gave the intensity more time to build and the surges would come back with even more power behind them. This would always take me by surprise, but I was able to stay in a positive place and not grip or anticipate the surge with tension. My mind and body stayed relaxed.
We stayed upstairs rotating between the birth ball, bed, shower and bath. Around 10 am, I was on my birth ball with both Rori and Ryan in the room; Kona, too! It felt so natural and easeful. I maintained a restful position when possible. I even would read my book, “What Alice Forgot”, in spurts while lying in bed. I commented, “I don’t ever remember any of our moms reading while in labor!”.
We talked about deciding when a good time would be to try to progress things and take labor to the next level. We knew that Jenny would be able to join by early afternoon, so noon seemed like a good time to start transitioning from more restful positions to more actively moving. Jenny just so happened to be at her uncle’s funeral and this would be the one day she wouldn’t be available from 6 am until early afternoon. All along, I trusted the process that she would be here for my birthing time because it felt divinely meant for her to be. It was so magical that it worked out for us to switch back into her care at 36 weeks (a story for another day). She and Cora would be our angels protecting our birth space.
When noon arrived, Rori got me into knees to chest on the bed with a hip shake for forty minutes. Together Rori and Ry shook my hips, which was such a funny jiggly sensation (I said it reminded me of the fat-burning belts from the 90s) while I focused on staying down in this position even during surges. It was a comfortable position to be in, but I had to fight to stay in it when the surges came. Rori talked me through it, and I reminded myself that it would be worth it to help labor progress naturally.
Labor was 100% a mental game, as I knew it would be. I often was chanting in my head “I can do anything for one minute…it comes and it goes…soften…peace…another one down…I can’t wait to meet my baby…my body knows what to do.” All the words I had encouraged moms with and words I had heard them say in the throes of their labors. I visualized different things at different stages of labor. I pictured my “peaceful place” floating in the warm Costa Rican waters, baby and I riding each wave together, softening and opening with the orange Hypno glow and naturally opening like the petals of a flower. I also used memories from the births I had supported and channeled the incredible strength of these incredible women who had come before me.
After knees to chest, my body showed signs of progression with shakes and I got back on my ball before feeling the need to get back in the shower for the third time. I used the downstairs shower this time as it had the warmest water, and it felt like a cozy cocoon for me to labor in. Getting in the shower as things were intensifying, allowed me to sink inward without distractions. Rori and Ry would come to check in on me and bring me hydration, but this was my solo time. I’d visualize, pray and chant to myself. When I’d get too overheated, which usually happened after about thirty minutes, I’d decide to get out and move to a new position.
It was now 1:45 pm, and I was starting to feel the effects of fatigue. I moved from the shower to the upstairs bathtub to get some more rest. I asked Rori to text Jenny to see if this would be okay, and she offered that anything that would give me the rest I needed would be a perfect place to be. I got into the tub with a popsicle, so I could find rest, but also get the sugar I needed for an energy burst. We all laughed because I never eat or crave popsicles, but it sounded like the best thing ever at that moment. Ry didn’t even know we had popsicles in the freezer (they had been there since our housewarming party in July). I asked him to dig one out from the bottom drawer. Surges spaced out in the tub, but I trusted this would be the reprieve and burst in energy I needed.
Once I got out, Jenny arrived in perfect time. It was 2:25 pm, and I was so happy with her arrival! I couldn’t believe she was already here, and I also couldn’t believe so much time in labor had already passed (18 hours at this point). I knew as soon as she arrived that I’d want to be checked so that I could mentally and emotionally prepare for the next stage of labor. I had convinced myself that I would be fully closed or only at one centimeter dilated. I verbalized that I’d be okay with this, but I’d just need to get in a state of rest so I could manage the hours of labor to come. I lay on my yoga mat in the bedroom and Jenny did my cervical exam. I got up to get cleaned up, and Ror and Ry asked about my progress, and Jenny said, “It’s a surprise.” When I returned to the room, I braced myself for the update when Jenny said, “Well, as you know, you have to fully efface first before dilating (“Oh no”…went through my head), and you’re fully effaced, four centimeters dilated and baby is at a +1 station.” Oh my gosh, this was incredible news; way more progress than I imagined! I trusted my body to labor beautifully, but this felt like labor had been much easier than I expected it to be up until this point. I still felt so comfortable, and I mentally said, “Hey, this is so manageable, and you’re doing it.”
Jenny was excited about my progress, too. When she arrived and Rori told her I was smiling and laughing, she confided in Rori that she wasn’t sure how much progress I had made. We all were so happy and relieved! Jenny said she’d leave for a few hours since she didn’t want to officially admit me into care yet, but that she’d hang around at a coffee shop in the area. I knew since she wasn’t traveling back to OC that she felt really confident in my labor; I felt a sigh of relief. Once she left, Rori, Ry and I gave each other huge smiles and what felt like congratulatory high-fives.
My mindset immediately shifted. I said to myself, “This is go-time; let’s do this thing”. Now that we knew Jenny would be at my birth (amazing!) and I was progressing perfectly, it was time for me to get into active movements to help encourage labor to continue. Jenny suggested a walk, and I was so ready to get outside and get things moving. I got on a walking outfit, and Ry helped me get my shoes on and he strapped up with the bright pink rebozo as his scarf. It was such a funny sight to see; we all were laughing!
Ry and I headed out to do a small loop in the neighborhood. Immediately surges increased to three minutes apart and the intensity came on with new strength! I was walking, talking and smiling with Ry in the sunshine, but it took all of my effort to focus through when the surges came. I’d squat down and lean into Ry for support with the rebozo wrapped around his shoulders. I found it easy to be in tune with my body during labor and ask for what I needed for support. Since I didn’t have back labor, I didn’t require any hands-on hip squeeze or massage, I rather needed tools and nourishment brought to me and also a supportive presence. I used my breath to guide me. The intensity gave way to nausea, and I threw up a few times on the short-loop walk. After one lap, I also felt the urge to go to the bathroom, so we made a pitstop at home for me to go. I then wanted to get another lap in because I could feel it working to progress things. Halfway through our second lap, I was shaky and nauseous. Ry asked if I wanted to head back, but I wanted to finish what I started. We had some neighbors outside, but I cared less about their presence since my body was in primal mode.
Once back home, around 4 pm, I wanted to keep up the progress, so I felt like it was a good time for the Miles Circuit. During this same time, Rori thought to herself “It’s a boy”, which she later shared with us after our babe’s arrival! Rori also told Ryan once we returned home, “She’s not talking…this is big”. I, too, felt this sudden shift from chatty and engaged with the world around me to needing to travel inward to navigate the remaining labor journey.
Ry supported me as I lunged on the stairs and I requested my last snack of labor: cheese, crackers and cut melon. We then moved back to the bedroom cocoon to complete the puppy pose and side-lying portions of the Miles Circuit. The intensity continued to increase and my talking stayed minimal. At this point, in addition to my focused breath, I started to rely on my tools and use internal dialogue to keep me focused. My requests for support became more primal with shorter sentences and brief words. Rori and I were now matching in our smiley-face slippers. I’d continue to change what I was wearing from robe to naked to walking outfit to sports bras and underwear to cozy sweatshirt to naked again as my temperature fluctuated and I got in and out of the shower and tub.
It was back to the downstairs standup shower, and this time instead of laboring on my elderly person chair (we all laughed when this got pulled out the first time since I had found it months prior on the side of the road and I had immediately texted Rori “should I take this home…it’s perfect for labor”) to my birth ball for more comfort since the pressure in my pelvis was building. I was grateful that the surge intensity continued to be felt in my uterus and not in my back. I even had asked myself and Rori early on, is this normal or does this mean it’s not real labor since it isn’t the worst pain wrapping around my entire back…it was easier pain than I imagined it to be.
I really focused on breathing through my surges. Rori stayed close by in the bathroom; there when I’d need her. The space was calm and dark with my yoga chants playing in the background. When I got out after an hour, time had become a warp. It was passing so quickly, and I couldn’t believe we were nearing the 24-hour mark. It was now 6:45 pm, and exhaustion was continuing to creep its way in. I returned to the bathroom tub, and from this point on I’d stay upstairs in my calm, dark birth cocoon. Reflecting, this time in the tub is a blur. I was ready for Jenny to come back and check me, so I could get the reassurance of progression. I knew I needed rest, and if it wasn’t nearing time to push, I would need support to get the rest my body needed.
Rori texted Jenny to return and told her that I was starting to become exhausted. At this time, I stopped taking my notes on the birth timeline, so I know now that things were shifting and nearing active labor. Jenny returned with Benadryl and Tylenol PM. She planned to give me an IV and the meds in hopes of giving me a few hours of necessary sleep. At 7:30 pm, she first offered to check me again because if I was nearing complete and it was time to push, then the meds for rest wouldn’t be as necessary. I willingly and gladly had her check me again. This time, instead of telling me exactly where I was at in that moment, she said I was progressing nicely but it was a perfect time to get the rest I needed. She said she’d get the IV and meds ready, and then she’d stay downstairs while I rested. She wasn’t going to admit me yet, but she wanted to stay near, which gave me the confidence to know she thought things would continue to progress nicely. “It’s happening…it’s really happening and I’m doing it,” I thought to myself.
I was so excited for the rest; Ryan and Rori were, too! I knew this was exactly what I needed at that moment. She placed the IV while I lay in bed and then gave me the pills to swallow. The birthing space was warm, dark and cozy. I had my Hatch white noise on, the birth candles were glowing and I felt peace. It took only a few minutes laying there when I felt my water rupture. It was an unmistakable pop in my uterus, followed by the largest warm gush of fluid. It felt like it flowed nonstop for minutes! It was a really cool sensation; I exclaimed “My water just broke; that was so cool!” This was then followed by me throwing up the meds I had just taken. There was so much happening at once; I knew this was all forward progress, but I also knew it meant my chance at desperately needed rest was going to be more of a challenge to achieve.
To be continued with part two of two!
Comments